I Thought I Needed a Man to Lean On. I Was Wrong. 💪
Finding The Internal Strength I Spent A Lifetime Looking For In Others
💗 Quick Personal Note: I’ve included a note at the end 👇 about the future of my C-PTSD work. I am currently reaching 27,000 survivors across 68 countries. But I’m at a crossroads where your support determines if I stay dedicated to this global mission full-time, or if I’ll need to pivot to a corporate 9-to-5 to fulfill the essential financial obligations that have arisen during this unexpected new chapter for me and my boys.
⚠️ Trauma-Informed Reminder
Some of what’s shared here might bring up strong emotions or old memories. Please go at your own pace.
✔️ Pause or step away if you feel overwhelmed — that awareness is part of healing.
✔️ Use grounding tools if your body feels tense (a few deep breaths, stretching, or orienting can help).
✔️ Skip this entirely if it doesn’t feel safe for you today. Your emotional safety comes first — always.
Clinical Note: Accelerated Resolution Therapy® (ART) is a specialized, manualized intervention. The rapid resolution described in this article is a result of precise clinical protocols facilitated by an ART-trained therapist. For safety and efficacy, this process must never be attempted outside of a professional clinical setting by anyone not trained in ART.
Hello friends... 👋
Lately, I’ve had quite a few people ask me how I’m holding it together and staying (mostly) positive through my divorce. To be honest? I am actually shocked myself! 😲
Don’t get me wrong - I still definitely have my crappy days. There are moments when I retreat to the privacy of my car for a full-on “ugly cry,” to let myself actually FEEL the shitty, painful feelings of this divorce. Allowing myself to feel heaviness and release them is part of what is helping me stay grounded. I like to think of it as ‘proactive emotional regulation.’ 🚗😭
Discovering My Inner Strength 💪✨
One of the biggest silver linings of this divorce has been discovering a level of strength I truly never knew I had. 💎
Growing up, I believed I needed the “strength of a man” to lean on because I had such little confidence in myself. I thought strength was something that came through a partner.
Looking back, I realize this wasn’t just “my” insecurity - it was the quiet, underlying script of the patriarchal society I grew up in. Despite all the progress we’ve made as women, there is still that old-school program running in the background, whispering that our ultimate security, protection and stability should be outsourced to a man.
It’s like I had internalized the idea that I was this vine looking for a trellis, when in reality, I was the whole tree, all along. 🌳✨ I say all this not to bash men - but to challenge the patriarchal conditioning that taught me to doubt my own foundation.
But as it turns out, the strength I was searching for in others was within me all along - buried deep beneath the layers of trauma, societal conditioning, and the paralyzing internal doubts that kept me waiting for someone else’s permission to trust my own instincts.
I didn't realize that I just simply needed the right tool to help me finally find my own voice.
That tool was ART - Accelerated Resolution Therapy.
My Journey to ART 🧠🛠️
While I had been “doing the work” for years, I didn’t find the missing piece until I discovered this specific therapy. Since my C-PTSD diagnosis in 2019, I have spent over 15,000 hours immersed in the neuroscience of healing. I treated my recovery like a full-time job of discipline:
The Discipline: I have meditated for 2,287 consecutive days to train my nervous system to find its way back to calm. 🧘♀️✨
The Rewiring: For the last three years, I’ve spent 2 hours every morning on daily healing practices and brain puzzles specifically designed to sharpen my executive function. 🧩
The Service: Since 2021, I have spent over 800 hours mentoring children through trauma.🤝❤️
Now, I want to be very clear: ART didn’t work for me just because of this prep work. Clinical research has documented that ART is a powerful, evidence-based tool that can help anyone - it is particularly recognized for its effectiveness with survivors of sexual abuse and deep-seated trauma. While all those hours of study helped me understand the why of my brain, ART was the tool that actually changed the how. You don’t have to be an “expert” in healing to find peace; the protocol is designed to work for everyone.
The Clarity of “Doing” 🧩
The level of clarity and executive functioning I now have is unprecedented. It shows up in the smallest moments - like walking past the kitchen island.
In the past, I wouldn’t have even seen the clutter. Now? I notice a pile of two items, grab the one for the laundry room, and mentally bookmark the second for the return trip. This may seem automatic to most, but to me, this new clarity was huge. I am certain that if I hadn’t done ART, I would be curled up in bed right now— depressed, overwhelmed, and totally frozen the weight of this divorce.
The Perfect Timing 🕰️⚡
The timing couldn’t have been more perfect! Only two weeks after I finished healing my core trauma through ART, I was hit with a brand-new trauma: an unexpected divorce. 💔
Since then, I’ve been working overtime to protect this clarity and my newfound sense of peace. I’ve been treating my healing practices like a repellent to the weight of this new trauma. 🛡️🚫
My Non-Negotiables: My “Repellent” Routine 🧼🧘♀️
Journaling: ✍️ Whether it’s in a notebook or a video journal (my preference)- I prioritize geting the negative feelings get out of my body.
Intentional Pampering: 🛁 After a bath, I slowly massage lotion into my skin. It’s a gentle way of acknowledging and loving all the parts of me -even the ones I don’t quite like right now. 🧴✨
The “Daily Three”: 📺 I listen to three specific affirmation videos every day to reset my brain:
Here are the exact three:
Self-Love: To remind me exactly who I am and what I am capable of. 👑
Manifesting Money: To keep my heart and mind focused on money, success, and the bright future I’m building for me and my boys. 💰🚀
Inner Child Healing: To take care of the version of me that is still processing the past and learning that it's safe to be happy.
💬 Your Thoughts?
Have you ever had a “small” win (like my kitchen island example) that felt like a huge victory for your brain? 🧩
What is one “script” you are currently trying to unlearn? 🏛️
Let me know in the comments - I’d love to hear your story! 👇
My Mission & Hope for the Future 🌳✨
For the last seven years, I have poured my heart into understanding trauma and providing resources to help others. We are at a critical junction. As I navigate this divorce, I am facing the very real possibility of having to shift my focus to a corporate 9-to-5 to ensure stability. While I am fully capable of that pivot, it would mean my mission- and the free materials I provide- would have to take an indefinite pause.
My goal is to stay right here, doing what I love - sharing Complex PTSD Awareness, Education, Tools and hope to survivors around the world.
I want to keep these life-changing tools accessible to everyone, not just those who can afford high-end coaching. You can help me protect my mission and keep this healing resource alive:
🌿 Annual Plan ($80): Save $28 a year (26% off). This is the equivalent of getting three months free. It provides the stability I need to keep the articles & tools flowing.
🏛️ Founding Member ($250): The backbone of the ART project. This tier includes priority Zoom access, upcoming book updates, and a special mention in book.
💝 Direct Support: Venmo for the research fund: https://venmo.com/u/Kristin-Francis-30
📢 Share the Work (Free & Powerful): If you aren't in a position to support financially, simply sharing my work with someone who needs it is a massive way to help me to
Thank you in advance for believing in me and supporting my mission. It truly means the world to me.
Click here to read my past article on ART - and how the ways it has changed my life
Tap here to learn more about ART- Accelerated Resolution Therapy
My Non-Profit work:
A Mission Close to My Heart: Humanity Hale 🛖
I’ve served as the Vice President on the Board of Directors and as a weekly mentor for over three years. We help children ages 8-17 affected by trauma.
We are on a mission to build a Foster Home community center and a safe haven for teens transitioning out of the foster system. These kids are the ultimate warriors, and helping them find stability is one of my greatest honors.
Donate to Humanity Hale:
https://humanityhale.org/10-monthly-hero-initiative
📌 About Me:
Hi, I’m Kristin Francis - the voice behind Complex PTSD Warrior.
My mission is to make Complex PTSD education, healing resources & modalities accessible worldwide. With 15,000+ hours devoted to Complex PTSD research, healing, and education, I combine relatable neuroscience and lived experience to spread global Complex PTSD awareness, trauma-informed tools, and practical support for survivors and their loved ones.
📝 A Note on my format: You might notice I use frequent line breaks, bolding, and emojis. This is intentional. Trauma impacts cognitive processing, often making dense text feel overwhelming. I design my writing to be “nervous-system friendly”—easy to scan, absorb, and digest, even when you are in survival mode.
If this post resonated, please share it - it might be exactly what someone has been waiting their whole life to hear. 🌿
Disclaimer: The content shared here is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please go at your own pace, and always prioritize what feels safe for your body and nervous system. If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please reach out to a licensed mental health provider or crisis resource in your area.
If you are a therapist, coach, or educator and wish to use this content with clients or students, please contact info@complexptsdwarrior.com for professional licensing options.
© 2026 Kristin Francis – Complex PTSD Warrior. All rights reserved.
This publication is licensed for individual, personal use only. It may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, shared with others, or used in professional practice without prior written permission from the author.