Oh my goodness, talk about the ultimate double-whammy! 🫠 Feeling frozen with anxiety while going through menopause is NO joke. But please know you are NOT alone. So many women are experiencing this - me included (perimenopause.)
Please give yourself so much grace today - your body is working overtime!
If you ever want expert yet hilarious guidance on menopause, check out my close friend Dr. Alexis Dunne (@Dunnewithmenopause)—she’s incredibly knowledgeable- but be warned - she can be inappropriate at times- but in the most hilarious way.
As an adoptee Ive had adoption trauma to navigate all my life. Ive been in and out of these states more times than I care to remember. It literally feels like anhilation is just about to happen. I can't talk, move, and end up curled up in a fetal position somewhere often on the floor. Countless hours of therapy and at 54 I think this is something I will always have to contend with. Im a psychotherapist and understand intellectually what is happening but in the moment, powerless to effect any real shift in my nervous system. Divorce, house on the market, stalking and subsequent court case, and death of my father all in the last 3 years and im utterly exhausted.
Carrying lifetime adoption trauma alongside the incredibly heavy weight of the last three years makes your deep exhaustion completely understandable.
That feeling of impending annihilation and freeze ISN’T a failure on your part. As a therapist, you know intellect can't logic away a hijacked survival system. But knowing why it happens still doesn't make the bodily terror any less real.
As I mentioned in my article, I HIGHLY recommend Accelerated Resolution Therapy specifically for helping you move the fear that’s trapped in your body. ❤️🩹 I’m happy to answer any questions. https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/
Please go gentle on yourself today. You don't have to fix anything right now, just resting and getting through this season is enough.
We are holding space for you - you are not alone.❤️
I'm saving this post so I can actually have the words to tell my therapist the words I can't seem to find during our visits. My trauma looks like a crazy EKG on paper. Highs with normal lows, then peaking again. I've been stuck for at least the past year. Before that I worked as a nurse, it was a second career. During my first semester of nursing school, I planned my wedding, got married, purchased my first home, found out my mother had cancer, and would take her to every single (all 40) radiation treatment while studying in the lobby. I would study in the waiting areas of surgical suites.
I was with her in Boston. The place that was supposed to fix her when we found out the first surgery didn't work. I went back to nursing school for my final 2 semesters that fall knowing my mother and father were alone hundreds of miles away from me while she was going under an extreme surgical procedure. I finished nursing school with honors and almost 20 years later l still have my mom.
I worked as an ER nurse, I loved the adrenaline until the adrenaline got to be too much. I had to step away from direct patient care in 2018. My mental health had started to affect my physical health. I took time off thinking I would go back after just being a mom for a while (my son was just 4 at the time). I decided to get a master's. One that really has nothing to do with my RN or even my BA I got back in 2003. Life finally caught up to me and for the past year I've been frozen. Not wanting to leave the little world I've made for myself in the corner of the couch.
What an incredible act of love and utter resilience to carry your mom through her cancer battle, finish nursing school with honors AND serve on the front lines as an ER nurse! I’m in awe of your commitment & dedication.
It makes COMPLETE sense why you are frozen right now. You spent years operating on pure adrenaline, hyper-vigilance, and caring for everyone else.
What you're experiencing - feeling stuck in your little corner of your couch ISN’T laziness or failure but instead a deeply exhausted nervous system that finally feels safe enough to crash after decades of running on high gear.
I’m so honored that my article helped give you language for your next therapy session. Recognizing where you are is a huge first step. Please be so gentle with yourself today; try not to guilt yourself either- your body is resting after running a marathon.
You will get through this!
We are all cheering you on, and you are not alone in this.
P.S. I’m SO happy to hear your mom beat her cancer battle! 🙌🥳❤️
Thank you. Yes the constant state of living in fight-or-flight for so long and being “programmed” as a nurse to run towards the fight because flight was never an option soon caught up to me. I had always thought that only soldiers or those with horrible childhoods were the ones with PTSD until I went for an annual visit to my PCP and melted in his office. Everything that I had experienced over 40-odd years added to my guilt for not wanting to go back into the patient setting anymore had me spent. He asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with CPTSD and I had never had a reason to share so much with someone so I hadn't. The next day I was back to see a therapist and really start trying to work through EVERYTHING that had happened. I'm so grateful for my Dr and my therapist. They make sure to watch out for me.
Thank you for sharing this. First, I am so IMPRESSED with your primary care doctor! Many still don’t even know what Complex PTSD is, so having a primary doctor who recognized what was happening, asked the right questions, and helped connect you with a supportive therapist is incredible.🥳
Your experience highlights something huge: C-PTSD ISN’T reserved just for war zones or specific childhood trauma. It can actually build up over decades of chronic stress, especially when you are "programmed" to run toward the fight and care for everyone else before yourself.
Please keep giving yourself so much grace as you navigate your healing work.
We are all rooting for you!
And again, I know I sound like a broken record, but I also highly recommend looking into ART - Accelerated Resolution Therapy. It will change life! ❤️https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/
Don't mind me I am just over here frozen w anxiety. Also going thru menopause. Fun times
Oh my goodness, talk about the ultimate double-whammy! 🫠 Feeling frozen with anxiety while going through menopause is NO joke. But please know you are NOT alone. So many women are experiencing this - me included (perimenopause.)
Please give yourself so much grace today - your body is working overtime!
If you ever want expert yet hilarious guidance on menopause, check out my close friend Dr. Alexis Dunne (@Dunnewithmenopause)—she’s incredibly knowledgeable- but be warned - she can be inappropriate at times- but in the most hilarious way.
https://www.instagram.com/dunnewithmenopause?igsh=MTB1MGJzOXE0bTlkcw==
Me too. ❤️🩹❤️
I see you.❤️Sending you a huge virtual hug!
As an adoptee Ive had adoption trauma to navigate all my life. Ive been in and out of these states more times than I care to remember. It literally feels like anhilation is just about to happen. I can't talk, move, and end up curled up in a fetal position somewhere often on the floor. Countless hours of therapy and at 54 I think this is something I will always have to contend with. Im a psychotherapist and understand intellectually what is happening but in the moment, powerless to effect any real shift in my nervous system. Divorce, house on the market, stalking and subsequent court case, and death of my father all in the last 3 years and im utterly exhausted.
Thank you Susannah for your vulnerability. 🥹
Carrying lifetime adoption trauma alongside the incredibly heavy weight of the last three years makes your deep exhaustion completely understandable.
That feeling of impending annihilation and freeze ISN’T a failure on your part. As a therapist, you know intellect can't logic away a hijacked survival system. But knowing why it happens still doesn't make the bodily terror any less real.
As I mentioned in my article, I HIGHLY recommend Accelerated Resolution Therapy specifically for helping you move the fear that’s trapped in your body. ❤️🩹 I’m happy to answer any questions. https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/
Please go gentle on yourself today. You don't have to fix anything right now, just resting and getting through this season is enough.
We are holding space for you - you are not alone.❤️
I'm saving this post so I can actually have the words to tell my therapist the words I can't seem to find during our visits. My trauma looks like a crazy EKG on paper. Highs with normal lows, then peaking again. I've been stuck for at least the past year. Before that I worked as a nurse, it was a second career. During my first semester of nursing school, I planned my wedding, got married, purchased my first home, found out my mother had cancer, and would take her to every single (all 40) radiation treatment while studying in the lobby. I would study in the waiting areas of surgical suites.
I was with her in Boston. The place that was supposed to fix her when we found out the first surgery didn't work. I went back to nursing school for my final 2 semesters that fall knowing my mother and father were alone hundreds of miles away from me while she was going under an extreme surgical procedure. I finished nursing school with honors and almost 20 years later l still have my mom.
I worked as an ER nurse, I loved the adrenaline until the adrenaline got to be too much. I had to step away from direct patient care in 2018. My mental health had started to affect my physical health. I took time off thinking I would go back after just being a mom for a while (my son was just 4 at the time). I decided to get a master's. One that really has nothing to do with my RN or even my BA I got back in 2003. Life finally caught up to me and for the past year I've been frozen. Not wanting to leave the little world I've made for myself in the corner of the couch.
Hi Jes, Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you when I wrote this part of today's article: https://complexptsdwarrior.substack.com/p/how-c-ptsd-hijacks-everyday-conversations?r=5j6tn1&selection=1de56e55-b983-4027-9442-9d2183902bfd&utm_campaign=post-share-selection&utm_medium=web&aspectRatio=instagram&textColor=%23ffffff&bgImage=true
The energy drainage or feeling like I'm wearing a mask. Not being able to speak words until the moment passes. Really hits home.
Oh Jes, Thank you so much for sharing your story.
What an incredible act of love and utter resilience to carry your mom through her cancer battle, finish nursing school with honors AND serve on the front lines as an ER nurse! I’m in awe of your commitment & dedication.
It makes COMPLETE sense why you are frozen right now. You spent years operating on pure adrenaline, hyper-vigilance, and caring for everyone else.
What you're experiencing - feeling stuck in your little corner of your couch ISN’T laziness or failure but instead a deeply exhausted nervous system that finally feels safe enough to crash after decades of running on high gear.
I’m so honored that my article helped give you language for your next therapy session. Recognizing where you are is a huge first step. Please be so gentle with yourself today; try not to guilt yourself either- your body is resting after running a marathon.
You will get through this!
We are all cheering you on, and you are not alone in this.
P.S. I’m SO happy to hear your mom beat her cancer battle! 🙌🥳❤️
Thank you. Yes the constant state of living in fight-or-flight for so long and being “programmed” as a nurse to run towards the fight because flight was never an option soon caught up to me. I had always thought that only soldiers or those with horrible childhoods were the ones with PTSD until I went for an annual visit to my PCP and melted in his office. Everything that I had experienced over 40-odd years added to my guilt for not wanting to go back into the patient setting anymore had me spent. He asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with CPTSD and I had never had a reason to share so much with someone so I hadn't. The next day I was back to see a therapist and really start trying to work through EVERYTHING that had happened. I'm so grateful for my Dr and my therapist. They make sure to watch out for me.
Thank you for sharing this. First, I am so IMPRESSED with your primary care doctor! Many still don’t even know what Complex PTSD is, so having a primary doctor who recognized what was happening, asked the right questions, and helped connect you with a supportive therapist is incredible.🥳
Your experience highlights something huge: C-PTSD ISN’T reserved just for war zones or specific childhood trauma. It can actually build up over decades of chronic stress, especially when you are "programmed" to run toward the fight and care for everyone else before yourself.
Please keep giving yourself so much grace as you navigate your healing work.
We are all rooting for you!
And again, I know I sound like a broken record, but I also highly recommend looking into ART - Accelerated Resolution Therapy. It will change life! ❤️https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/
This is me. Great article! 🧡
Thank you Leisa! I’m really happy to hear it resonated. Let me know if there’s anything you want to learn more about - or need clarification with.
Sending you a big virtual hug right now! 💖
Cognitive shut/ down& anxiety
That brain fog and shutdown is so real and so exhausting. Please be gentle on yourself today. Sending you a huge virtual hug right now. 🌸