Thank you so much for sharing this. I just want to take a moment to say:
I hear you❤️
That deep craving to finally be seen and understood — it’s something so many of us on this path know well.
You don’t need a formal diagnosis to deserve support or to start exploring what’s going on inside.
Whether it’s ADHD, autism, CPTSD, or all of the above, what you’re experiencing is real — and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.
I hope this space becomes a place where you’re reminded that you’re not alone — and that what you’re feeling truly makes sense.
You matter.
And you deserve to be heard and understood❤️
If you feel comfortable sharing — what kind of support are you most craving right now?
There are people in my life who clearly don't believe me and who make no effort to learn about these issues, so they are totally blind to understanding how life is for me. I am on a waiting list for ADHD diagnosis as a starter, so if I can actually get that, it will be ammunition to say I Told You So. I just want them to listen and believe me.
It’s so hard when the people who should care the most don’t even try to understand.
You shouldn’t have to fight this hard just to be believed!
You don’t need a diagnosis to prove what you’re feeling is real — you already know your own experience better than anyone else ever could.
Still, getting on that waiting list is a big step. 👏You’re standing up for yourself in a way a lot of people never do. That’s something to be proud of — no matter what anyone else thinks.
And when that diagnosis comes, if you need to have an “I told you so” moment, you’ve earned it! Seriously.
But even without it, your story is real. What you’re feeling is real.
You don’t need anyone else’s approval to trust yourself.
I’m really glad you’re here — where you don’t have to explain yourself just to be heard.
You deserve to feel seen, understood, and supported exactly as you are.
You’re so right — the wounds from early environments can shape so much of how we move through the world.
I’m really glad you’re curious about somatic work — it’s been a huge part of my healing!
Somatic work is about helping your body feel safe again — not just talking through the past, but actually releasing the survival stress that’s been living inside you.
It’s one of the most life-changing parts of healing. I’ll be sharing more about Somatic Healing in an upcoming post!
You’re already doing powerful work just by being willing to look deeper.
I relate to this so much. Talk therapy gave me language for what I’d been through, but somatic work helped me actually start to feel safe in my body again. ❤️
After a lifetime in survival mode, it’s not just about talking — it’s about relearning how to be in your body.
So glad you’re exploring somatic experiencing — it’s been a huge part of my own healing too. How’s it going for you so far?
I’ve had two sessions so far, which were basically informational about somatic experiencing. Now we’re starting work on anger, which is a very big deal for me. It feels like this is the right place for me, and I’m hopeful.
That’s such a powerful step — especially starting with anger. It’s one of the most misunderstood and deeply buried emotions for so many of us with CPTSD.
The fact that it feels like the right place for you already says so much. I’m so glad you’re feeling hopeful — that alone is huge. 💗
Keep honoring your pace and your nervous system — you’re doing such important work, and you’re not alone.💗
I did grow up in survival mode and honestly I can't figure out how to get out of it. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD—amongst other things. And I am tired of just surviving or sometimes it just feels like existing. I want to live before I die. Really live.
Thank you so much for sharing this — I remember feeling the exact same way.
I want you to know you’re not alone.
That longing you described — to actually live instead of just surviving - IS possible.
When we grow up in survival mode, our brains and bodies are wired to stay on high alert. Not to rest. Not to enjoy. Not to thrive.
It’s not your fault you’re stuck in that place — your system learned to keep you safe the best way it could. But the fact that you’re here, reaching for something different? That already tells me a lot about your inner strength. 👏
Getting out of survival mode doesn’t happen all at once — and it’s definitely not about “pushing harder.”
For me, it started with learning how to feel a little safer in my body. And slowly creating moments where I could feel more present and more ME.
Here are a few ways to start doing that:
1. Make a “micro-safe space” just for you.
Find a small corner or chair in your home — and make it feel like safety. A soft blanket, a calming scent, a journal, a favorite object — anything that reminds your system this is mine, and I’m okay here. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day.
2. Try gentle sensory contrasts.
Hold something warm, then something cool. Smell something earthy, then something bright. Feel the floor with bare feet, then walk on something soft. These little contrasts help your body reconnect with the present — without flooding you.
3. Let your nervous system write to you.
Here’s a prompt that really helps me:
“Dear [Your Name], here’s what I’ve been trying to protect you from all these years…”
You might be amazed at what comes up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to stop fighting my own system — and start working with it instead.
I’m really glad you’re here. I’m hoping my posts bring you validation.
I always thought my PTSD was different. CPTSD resonates with everything I experience. It’s so hard to explain it to people. I am very lucky to have been accepted into a 2 year therapy program that is focused specifically on survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We are working on the things you talked about. ❤️
I am happy to share. I live in Winnipeg, MB Canada. The clinic is called Heartwood and all of the programs and therapists revolve around adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I was on a 3 year waiting list.
Heartwood sounds like such a powerful and needed space — especially with such a strong focus on supporting survivors.
It says so much about the need for this kind of care that there’s a three-year waiting list! I’m really glad you held on through the wait and that you’re getting the support you deserve.
I know it’s not an easy path, but you’re doing SUCH important work — and it matters, more than words can say.
I'm truly grateful you shared this — I’m going to keep Heartwood in mind as a resource for others too.
I'm in full blown burnout right now from both CPTSD and AuDHD. I'm unable to work, suicidal, teetering towards homicidal, and totally maxed out. Even in California I can't get the help I need. It just… isn't available. I am beginning to learnt that the misfiring of my brain affects my body, affects my mood, affects my ability to do, you know… life. Desperately seeking relief. I know that I'm not the only one. Thank you for being here.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can feel just how maxed out and overwhelmed you are — and I just want to say how powerful it is that you’re putting this into words.
CPTSD and AuDHD together can feel like a complete shutdown — like your mind and body are constantly battling each other, while the world keeps expecting you to function like nothing’s wrong. It’s SO much.
The way you described the misfiring and how it impacts everything — your body, your mood, your capacity to function — is something so many people feel but don’t always have the language for. You're NOT alone, even if it feels that way.
I’m really honored that this space offered even a small moment of recognition. I’m truly holding space for you right now. 💛
If things ever feel too heavy to carry, you’re not weak for needing more support. Here are some California-based resources that are available 24/7:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential support anytime.
California Peer-Run Warm Line: Call 1-855-845-7415 for non-emergency emotional support.
California Youth Crisis Line (for ages 12–24): Call or text 1-800-843-5200 for 24/7 support.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
You matter.
You deserve care and support.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to any of these resources whenever you need.
My life, for as long as I can remember has been stressful.
When I was just about 5 (summer before I started Kindergarten) I was playing w my 15 months younger sister.
My Mom suddenly started screaming and said she was going into her bedroom to pack her suitcase. We continued playing until she came back out. She said she “had to leave because we were too bad for her to deal with.”And w that she left…
We started crying uncontrollably and after a while we could hardly breathe. We were gasping for air.
My grandmother and some aunts and uncles lived downstairs. One aunt came up a couple times to check on us.
Finally that same aunt told us our father was coming home soon to talk w us.
He came home and said he had talked w our mother. She told him she would come back if we promised to behave. Of course we immediately said yes!
Thank you so much for sharing this — my heart truly goes out to you. 💛
That story… it says so much in so few words. I can't imagine how terrifying and confusing that moment was as a child — and how DEEPLY it shaped the way you learned to survive.
What you went through wasn’t just “stressful.” That was trauma. That was abandonment, emotional upheaval, and a moment that should never have been placed on your little shoulders.
That promise you made — just to feel safe again — it breaks my heart, because SO many of us have been there in different ways.
You deserved to just be a kid. To feel held, safe, and unconditionally loved — not responsible for someone else’s ability to stay or go.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story. It’s powerful, and it matters. You’re not alone here — and I’m holding so much tenderness for that younger version of you right now. ♥️Sending big hugs.
Thank you again for sharing this — it truly means a lot.
If you’re comfortable, would it be okay if I shared this comment as a testimonial? I can keep it anonymous or include your first name, whatever feels best for you.
It could really help someone else feel less alone. Absolutely no pressure — only if it feels right to you!
(And if you’d rather chat privately, feel free to message me!)
Oof, the “lucky me” double diagnosis — I feel that.
I’m curious though — when you say both, do you mean you were officially diagnosed with PTSD and Complex PTSD? Or that you’ve experienced symptoms of both?
Thank you for this!! I have not been able to get a CPTSD diagnosis yet, but I have the diagnosis of chronic PTSD, along with all of the fun add ons. Trying to explain to people that I have felt this way my whole life has been daunting. Not being heard just makes all of it worse!! Again, thank you!!❤️❤️❤️
I'm not even diagnosed yet, and I'm looking at ADHD, autism, autistic trauma and burnout, and CPTSD. I just want to be heard for once in my life.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I just want to take a moment to say:
I hear you❤️
That deep craving to finally be seen and understood — it’s something so many of us on this path know well.
You don’t need a formal diagnosis to deserve support or to start exploring what’s going on inside.
Whether it’s ADHD, autism, CPTSD, or all of the above, what you’re experiencing is real — and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.
I hope this space becomes a place where you’re reminded that you’re not alone — and that what you’re feeling truly makes sense.
You matter.
And you deserve to be heard and understood❤️
If you feel comfortable sharing — what kind of support are you most craving right now?
There are people in my life who clearly don't believe me and who make no effort to learn about these issues, so they are totally blind to understanding how life is for me. I am on a waiting list for ADHD diagnosis as a starter, so if I can actually get that, it will be ammunition to say I Told You So. I just want them to listen and believe me.
It’s so hard when the people who should care the most don’t even try to understand.
You shouldn’t have to fight this hard just to be believed!
You don’t need a diagnosis to prove what you’re feeling is real — you already know your own experience better than anyone else ever could.
Still, getting on that waiting list is a big step. 👏You’re standing up for yourself in a way a lot of people never do. That’s something to be proud of — no matter what anyone else thinks.
And when that diagnosis comes, if you need to have an “I told you so” moment, you’ve earned it! Seriously.
But even without it, your story is real. What you’re feeling is real.
You don’t need anyone else’s approval to trust yourself.
I’m really glad you’re here — where you don’t have to explain yourself just to be heard.
You deserve to feel seen, understood, and supported exactly as you are.
Sending big hugs as you wait.❤️
So true, thanks for posting this. I know that abusive perverse parents (or just growing up with a single parent) can cause horrendous damage.
I have never heard of Somatic treatment, will investigate about it. Thanks again
You’re so right — the wounds from early environments can shape so much of how we move through the world.
I’m really glad you’re curious about somatic work — it’s been a huge part of my healing!
Somatic work is about helping your body feel safe again — not just talking through the past, but actually releasing the survival stress that’s been living inside you.
It’s one of the most life-changing parts of healing. I’ll be sharing more about Somatic Healing in an upcoming post!
You’re already doing powerful work just by being willing to look deeper.
Keep going — it’s so worth it.❤️
Thank you forever!!!!
I’m trying somatic experiencing to deal with CPTSD after being stuck in survival mode all of my life. Talk therapy only got me so far.
I relate to this so much. Talk therapy gave me language for what I’d been through, but somatic work helped me actually start to feel safe in my body again. ❤️
After a lifetime in survival mode, it’s not just about talking — it’s about relearning how to be in your body.
So glad you’re exploring somatic experiencing — it’s been a huge part of my own healing too. How’s it going for you so far?
I’ve had two sessions so far, which were basically informational about somatic experiencing. Now we’re starting work on anger, which is a very big deal for me. It feels like this is the right place for me, and I’m hopeful.
That’s such a powerful step — especially starting with anger. It’s one of the most misunderstood and deeply buried emotions for so many of us with CPTSD.
The fact that it feels like the right place for you already says so much. I’m so glad you’re feeling hopeful — that alone is huge. 💗
Keep honoring your pace and your nervous system — you’re doing such important work, and you’re not alone.💗
I did grow up in survival mode and honestly I can't figure out how to get out of it. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD—amongst other things. And I am tired of just surviving or sometimes it just feels like existing. I want to live before I die. Really live.
Thank you so much for sharing this — I remember feeling the exact same way.
I want you to know you’re not alone.
That longing you described — to actually live instead of just surviving - IS possible.
When we grow up in survival mode, our brains and bodies are wired to stay on high alert. Not to rest. Not to enjoy. Not to thrive.
It’s not your fault you’re stuck in that place — your system learned to keep you safe the best way it could. But the fact that you’re here, reaching for something different? That already tells me a lot about your inner strength. 👏
Getting out of survival mode doesn’t happen all at once — and it’s definitely not about “pushing harder.”
For me, it started with learning how to feel a little safer in my body. And slowly creating moments where I could feel more present and more ME.
Here are a few ways to start doing that:
1. Make a “micro-safe space” just for you.
Find a small corner or chair in your home — and make it feel like safety. A soft blanket, a calming scent, a journal, a favorite object — anything that reminds your system this is mine, and I’m okay here. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day.
2. Try gentle sensory contrasts.
Hold something warm, then something cool. Smell something earthy, then something bright. Feel the floor with bare feet, then walk on something soft. These little contrasts help your body reconnect with the present — without flooding you.
3. Let your nervous system write to you.
Here’s a prompt that really helps me:
“Dear [Your Name], here’s what I’ve been trying to protect you from all these years…”
You might be amazed at what comes up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to stop fighting my own system — and start working with it instead.
I’m really glad you’re here. I’m hoping my posts bring you validation.
I always thought my PTSD was different. CPTSD resonates with everything I experience. It’s so hard to explain it to people. I am very lucky to have been accepted into a 2 year therapy program that is focused specifically on survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We are working on the things you talked about. ❤️
I am happy to share. I live in Winnipeg, MB Canada. The clinic is called Heartwood and all of the programs and therapists revolve around adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I was on a 3 year waiting list.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Heartwood sounds like such a powerful and needed space — especially with such a strong focus on supporting survivors.
It says so much about the need for this kind of care that there’s a three-year waiting list! I’m really glad you held on through the wait and that you’re getting the support you deserve.
I know it’s not an easy path, but you’re doing SUCH important work — and it matters, more than words can say.
I'm truly grateful you shared this — I’m going to keep Heartwood in mind as a resource for others too.
Cheering you on every step of the way. 🩷
I feel gratitude every day for having found this place
You’re right — Complex PTSD can feel so different from what most people think of when they hear “PTSD.”
It’s so validating when you finally find language that actually fits what you’ve been carrying for so long.
And I just want to say — being accepted into a two-year program like that is incredible.👏
You deserve that kind of deep, focused support.
It takes so much courage to face the layers of childhood trauma, and even more strength to keep going when it’s hard.
I’m really proud of you for doing this work — and I’m so glad you’re here, where you don’t have to explain the depth of it just to be understood.❤️
I’m curious — if you’re open to sharing — what’s the name of the program?
I’m always looking for resources to recommend to others who are walking a similar path.
I'm in full blown burnout right now from both CPTSD and AuDHD. I'm unable to work, suicidal, teetering towards homicidal, and totally maxed out. Even in California I can't get the help I need. It just… isn't available. I am beginning to learnt that the misfiring of my brain affects my body, affects my mood, affects my ability to do, you know… life. Desperately seeking relief. I know that I'm not the only one. Thank you for being here.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can feel just how maxed out and overwhelmed you are — and I just want to say how powerful it is that you’re putting this into words.
CPTSD and AuDHD together can feel like a complete shutdown — like your mind and body are constantly battling each other, while the world keeps expecting you to function like nothing’s wrong. It’s SO much.
The way you described the misfiring and how it impacts everything — your body, your mood, your capacity to function — is something so many people feel but don’t always have the language for. You're NOT alone, even if it feels that way.
I’m really honored that this space offered even a small moment of recognition. I’m truly holding space for you right now. 💛
If things ever feel too heavy to carry, you’re not weak for needing more support. Here are some California-based resources that are available 24/7:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential support anytime.
California Peer-Run Warm Line: Call 1-855-845-7415 for non-emergency emotional support.
California Youth Crisis Line (for ages 12–24): Call or text 1-800-843-5200 for 24/7 support.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
You matter.
You deserve care and support.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to any of these resources whenever you need.
Sending HUGE hugs.
My life, for as long as I can remember has been stressful.
When I was just about 5 (summer before I started Kindergarten) I was playing w my 15 months younger sister.
My Mom suddenly started screaming and said she was going into her bedroom to pack her suitcase. We continued playing until she came back out. She said she “had to leave because we were too bad for her to deal with.”And w that she left…
We started crying uncontrollably and after a while we could hardly breathe. We were gasping for air.
My grandmother and some aunts and uncles lived downstairs. One aunt came up a couple times to check on us.
Finally that same aunt told us our father was coming home soon to talk w us.
He came home and said he had talked w our mother. She told him she would come back if we promised to behave. Of course we immediately said yes!
That was my last day of being a kid.
Thank you so much for sharing this — my heart truly goes out to you. 💛
That story… it says so much in so few words. I can't imagine how terrifying and confusing that moment was as a child — and how DEEPLY it shaped the way you learned to survive.
What you went through wasn’t just “stressful.” That was trauma. That was abandonment, emotional upheaval, and a moment that should never have been placed on your little shoulders.
That promise you made — just to feel safe again — it breaks my heart, because SO many of us have been there in different ways.
You deserved to just be a kid. To feel held, safe, and unconditionally loved — not responsible for someone else’s ability to stay or go.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story. It’s powerful, and it matters. You’re not alone here — and I’m holding so much tenderness for that younger version of you right now. ♥️Sending big hugs.
You can also use the name Sandra.
Sure, go ahead. If it can help just one person it would make me happy.
I really think it will❤️ Thank you☺️
Thank you. You made me cry tears of joy just for understanding me…
Oh wow — thank you for sharing that.🥰
I’m truly honored I was able to make you feel seen.
This is exactly why I created this space — to help others feel seen and supported in ways I wish I had when I was struggling. 💗
Sometimes just being understood — really seen without judgment— can bring up so much, especially when you’ve carried it alone for so long.
I’m really glad you’re here. You’re not alone in this. 💗 Sending big hugs.
Wish I could give you a real hug! 💕🤗
Aww, me too- sending you the biggest virtual hug.
Thank you again for sharing this — it truly means a lot.
If you’re comfortable, would it be okay if I shared this comment as a testimonial? I can keep it anonymous or include your first name, whatever feels best for you.
It could really help someone else feel less alone. Absolutely no pressure — only if it feels right to you!
(And if you’d rather chat privately, feel free to message me!)
Sure. Go ahead. If it can help just one person it would be worth it. You can use the name Sandra.
lucky me. i have both. yay.
Oof, the “lucky me” double diagnosis — I feel that.
I’m curious though — when you say both, do you mean you were officially diagnosed with PTSD and Complex PTSD? Or that you’ve experienced symptoms of both?
Either way, you’re not alone here.❤️
You’re preaching to the choir in my case. Not really the childhood period, though. Not too much.
This article made me cry. It’s so beautiful to be seen and known and understood. Thank you for doing that.
Thank you.
Thank you for this!! I have not been able to get a CPTSD diagnosis yet, but I have the diagnosis of chronic PTSD, along with all of the fun add ons. Trying to explain to people that I have felt this way my whole life has been daunting. Not being heard just makes all of it worse!! Again, thank you!!❤️❤️❤️
https://open.substack.com/pub/c077uptf1l3/p/recursive-diagnostic-conscious-system?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=404ann